Little House
by SparkKnight2
Summary: Based on the song 'Little House' by The Fray. Fem!Iceland is lonely but she keeps it hidden inside. One shot! Rated for language and self-harm.


_She doesn't look, she doesn't see_

_Opens up for nobody_

_Figures out, she figures out_

_Narrow line, she can't decide_

_Everything short of suicide_

_Never hurts, nearly works_

The sound of the sharp scissors cutting my pale wrists that were now leaking a bright red fluid... I felt warm tears well up in my eyes. This pain... it feels so good. Then after a few more times I stopped and placed my blood-stained scissors on my futon. I sighed, watching the silky blood run down my hands onto the concrete floor. The cool sensation of the gushing blood soothed my ecstatic nerves. I hate life. I thought to myself as I flopped on my back and watched the crisp white ceiling do kart-wheels and run in circles.

I can't stop the tears that rundown my pale face. I'm not sure why I can't stop them... I feel such pleasure, and yet sorrow. I sniffle and bring a bloody hand to cup my wet face and cried quietly. Why do I feel this gap in me? It seems to be empty, like a black hole; slowly taking away my life, but I know that I'm already dead inside. "Why am I so alone..?" I heartily asked over my pouring tears. I know that loneliness is when you have no one, but why then do I feel this? I have the Nordics, Russia and even more timeless friends.

I exhaled insecurely and a small shiver ran down my spine. My tears slowly became more and more controlled and I kept my mind of lonely thoughts, attempting to not lose my emotions again, but I've been breaking down almost every day for a long while. I don't know when it started, it feels like for the whole 1139 years I've lived I have been this way, but I know that isn't true. I then breathe again, now almost normal. I removed my hand from my face and used both of them to help me sit up. I looked upon the now crusty blood; I forgot to think about the blood stains that will remain. What will people say when they see..? If they even come over to my place to begin with.

_Something is scratching_

_Its way out_

_Something you want_

_To forget about_

I lean forward and stand up to clean and dress my wounds before they get infected or something. I walked to the bathroom and wetted a face cloth and then went back to my bedroom. Then I washed out most of the blood off my blanket and cleared the hard floor, but even the blood there wouldn't all come out. I sighed, regretting not doing this in the washroom. Then I stood up, holding the cloth that was now full of blood. I turned to exit my room and opened the white door. Then to my utter surprise Norway was before my door way giving me his normal stoic expression.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed in surprise and after surprise soon a wave of guilt and embarrassment. Crap! My mind frantically thought of a believable excuse. His expression seemed to hold worry and his violet eyes gazed at the cloth and then back to me. "What happened?" He asked openly. He hasn't seen my wrists, though so I can make an excuse. "My period." I said plainly, sure it was a stupid excuse, but he is a boy so he doesn't know much. His face turned to slight embarrassment and a slight change in color came to his face. I know things like that make him uncomfortable, but it is a great reason, it also explains the blood on my pants.

I then hastily ran past him and into the washroom and closed the door. I quickly ran the water and cleaned the cloth and threw it with the rest of my dirty towels, and then I took out the first aid kit and started to clan and dress my wounds. Once I was done I pulled my sleeves over my wrists and gave a quick nod in the mirror; now all I have to do is change my pants. I opened the door again and walked down the hall to go into my room again. As I entered the room I saw Norway looking around my room, gazing over at the blood stains occasionally. "Get out." I said plainly, not that I wanted to be rude, but I needed to change.

He left wordlessly and I then quickly changed into some lose, gray pants. Once I exited the room I fixed my hair with my fingers as I walked down the stairs, suspecting that Norway would be in the living room or kitchen. It seems I was right; he rummaging around in my kitchen. "What the hell Norway?" I whined at the state of my kitchen; he seemed to be moving things around looking for something. Norway stopped and glanced over at me with an innocent look in his eyes." I sighed and face palmed internally. "The coffee is in the cupboard above the microwave." I said and he then moved to the said place and took out a bag of coffee.

I started cleaning up and placing things back to where they go, after Norway started to make coffee. I was almost done when I spoke up. "What are you doing here anyways?" I asked, but he seemed to not notice my words. "... I don't know, I just felt like it." He said plainly. Either he is hiding the truth, or he is just that flipping random. "Well, call before you fucking come out of no where." I said angrily. "I never taught you to use that language." Norway replied, showing his obvious disapproval. "Well the work "fuck" probably didn't exist 1000 years ago." I replied with my voice dripping in irritation. "I don't want you to say it again." He said sternly. Man, that's too bad princess. Because, guess what? This is my flipping house, and you are no longer the fudge in charge. Despite my flurry of thoughts I kept the words form causing more trouble.

_A part of you that'll never show_

_You're the only one that'll ever know_

_Take it back when it all began_

_Take your time, would you understand_

_What it's all about?_

_What it's all about?_

After I put everything away I take a seat on my small table that is in the corner of my kitchen. "You want some of your crummy coffee?" Norway asks plainly. "No," I said, placing my arms on the table and resting my head in my arms. He disliked the coffee I seemed to like; he always was trying to convert me. "No thank you, big brother." Norway corrected. I often wonder what our relationship would be like if I actually said things like that. He took a seat across form me and his hand patted my head. I looked up at him and removed his hand. "I'm not some dog." I said bitterly. Norway then took a sip of the hot beverage. "You are on your period aren't you?" He asked teasingly. I hit him over the head with that. "Die in a hole, Norway." I said. Norway formed a small smirk on his lips for a few seconds.

I returned to my original position and Norway started playing with my silver hair; braiding it and just messing it around. I attempted to ignore him and started drowning in thought. Why can't I just tell him the truth about the blood? I complain about being alone, but I can't even be honest with my own brother. This is pitiful, I am such a loser. When did this all begin anyways? When I was a child I held a unbreakable relationship with Norway... big brother. I was joyful, and sad to see my brother go when he had to leave on long trips and adventures. I also lived with Denmark, Finland and Sweden. I always knew there was some bad blood between Sweden and Denmark, but it never amounted to anything.

Then Sweden and Finland left. I remember the day, I was 650 years old. There was yelling and fighting, Norway held me close in a vacant room, but I could still hear it. I was weeping, wishing that they would stop. Norway comforted me, but something that day broke inside of me. The harsh brutality came before my eyes, but I could hide it with relative ease back then, but then in 1814 Norway left me. At first I acted like he was just another country that was unsatisfied by Denmark's rule, just another spoiled brat that wanted to rule them self. I guess I was hiding form the truth... It seems so long ago, but it really isn't when you think about it. But I soon was unable to hold my loss any longer and I broke down, leaving myself with nothing but pity and a sort-of fear of what will happen to me. I told myself I would never leave Denmark the way my brother did, and I didn't.

And in 1918 I formally declared independence, I had my own constitution and laws; I was finally free. So I guess this all began over 1000 years ago, but not all at once; it must have slowly gotten worse and worse until now. "Ice?" Norway's voice cooed. I perked up, realizing that my hair had various curls and tangles in it now. "What?" I asked defensively. "You look distant." He said, lowering his face to be adjacent to mine. "So?" I asked, burying my face into my arms. "Is something brothering you?" He asked genuinely. I looked at him. What happened to Norway? What the hell happened? Did he get brain washed by that stupid Dane? "Why would you care?" I asked harshly. "I always care about you, little sister." He said childishly, still keeping his face on the table.

_Something is scratching_

_Its way out_

_Something you want_

_To forget about_

I felt so inclined to tell him, I really want to. I'm not going to lie this time; I need to tell someone, he deserves to know. I open my mouth, but soon close it in fear. "Iceland?" He asked, giving off a worried look. I don't have to tell him all of the truth, yes. I'll just tell him a small bit, and then I won't sound too mushy. "I... I guess I have been feeling down recently." I admitted as I sat up properly, Norway fallowed suite. "What about?" He asked, prying for more. I didn't want to go much further, but now that I am in this it won't be easy getting out. "I don't know... life in general." I said casually. Norway tilted his head slightly, probably wondering what such a thing could mean, he was great at reading people, but I seem to be some form of challenge.

"Are you feeling lonely?" He asked. Wow, how the heck does he know? I haven't told anyone, well that's kind of obvious. I wasn't sure what to say after that, but I did make up my mind. "H-how did you know?" I asked, getting slightly flustered. "Hmm, just a guess." He said. Then that ended the flow of words and threw us into a span of quiet awkwardness. Why the hell can't I just be myself? I just want to speak my mind, but my body won't comply.

"Okay, well I'm going out; so you should go back to Oslo, or something." I said while standing up and walking over to grab my wallet and keys. Norway fallowed me as I trailed through the house looking for my once again lost keys. "I'm staying here." He said. I gave his a scowl. "No, you're not. Besides you don't have any cloths and such." I said, still looking for my keys. "I already put my suitcase in your spare room." He said. I froze and swung my head to look at him. "Who the hell did you get in anyways?" Then as if on cue he brought from his pocket my lost keys. "How the hell did you get these?!" I asked, demanding for an answer. He gave a light smirk. "I have my ways."

So we ended up walking to the local super market to pick up some food and according to Norway the "superb" coffee that he couldn't live without. We silently walked through the store with minimal words and on the way I picked up some licorice; I eat large amounts of it when I was stressed. And soon we had gotten everything required and went to the check-out counter. The lady there wore a pleasant smile and quickly ran the items through the red-light-beeper-thing. "That will be a total of 134.50." She said. I reached into my wallet and gave her my bank card. She swiped it and I punched into the required information, took back my card and helped Norway carry the bags. As we exited through the automatic doors I commented: "You're welcome." Norway nodded "You mean "You're welcome big brother"." He said. I huffed in annoyance; I gave up fighting this battle a long time ago.

We slowly walked back to my house and when we arrived we laid the bags down and I started to put away the object into their rightful place. I was a rather organized person when it came to my house except for my bedroom. Norway seemed to be enjoying his next cup of coffee; which isn't too odd. I took out my bag of licorice and stared nibbling away at it while I lay nicely on my short couch. Norway walked up to me and starred at my legs; signaling that they were in the way. I sat up properly and then Norway took his seat next to me.

It was a quiet as ever and to honest I didn't really mind. If we were talking he would be prying into my personal life or irritating me endlessly. I guess that's just how we work. It wasn't always that way we used to be inseparable; like twins. Now we are like strangers, and I'm not sure why I even tolerate him. I guess when I think about it he is someone. I am lonely out here in the middle of the ocean, sure I am large in tourism, but I am remote and isolated. It's funny the parallels to my character and to my land.

_No one expects_

_You to get up_

_All on your own with_

_No one around_

"Ice?" Norway called with a friendly tone, laced with worry. I looked to him, his eye widened a slight bit and his whole face seemed to speak of pity. Then I realized why he was acting in such a matter when I felt a warm tear rip down my pale face. I must have started crying when I was thinking about my aloneness. I quickly stood up and with a quiet "Excuse me." I walk quickly to the washroom. Fuck, fuck, fuck! No wonder he was so worried, now I have opened a can of worms I would rather keep hidden. I am screwed.

Once I locked the door I sat down on the closed toilet seat and grabbed a handful of toilet paper. I tried to calm my emotions, but the tears kept coming. I remained silent though with only the occasional sniffle and silent wimpier. Crap to you emotions! Get a grip Iceland! Come on, you are stronger then this. Despite my mental attempts to stop the tears they didn't stop. Then I heard a familiar voice coming from the turning handle, but it didn't open. "Iceland..? Can I come in?" Norway asked tenderly. I sniffled and for some unknown reason I stood up and opened the door; despite my red, puffy eyes. His eyes widened again, but soon turn to their normal self. "Ice-?" I, still crying helplessly, moved my hand to his chest and held on to his shirt and I started crying into it shamefully.

I hated how weak I was being, but at the same time it felt good to get it off my nerves. His hands lightly moved to my back and rubbed me affectionately. "What's wrong?" He asked softly. I sniffled, my tears had significantly decreased. I started to push away and he released my as so. I sniffled and wiped the tears from my eyes. His head was slightly tilted and a washing look of concern was on him. "I-I'm sorry…" I said atomically. Norway gave a light smile and reached out his to wipe away more of my trickling tears. I restrained his wrist before he could touch me again. "It's nothing.." I said, clearly lying, but I hoped that he would take my hint and leave me alone.

"Iceland, please tell me." Norway said, clearly not getting it. "N-no, leave me alone." I shuttered. Norway's other hand brushed my face affectionately, but I turned away. "Leave." I said sternly. He seemed to be saddened by my behavior, but what else is new. "Why?" he asked. I shook my head, regaining my emotional control. "I'm fine. These are tears of joy, really." He then seemed to look puzzled. Fuck. That was a stupid answer… Oh well, time to drive it home. "I-I… I got a new free-trading agreement with China!" I said, trying to convince him of this obvious lie.

He remained silent but then he nodded "If there is anyone you need to talk to I am here." He said and then left. I reclosed the door. I don't think he fell for it, but he might have gotten the hint. I then sat down again on the closed toilet and found that more tears were hurdling down my face silently. This time though I didn't bother to wipe them away; I just rested my head in my hands and quietly sobbed. The loneliness now just seemed too evident; so overwhelming. The funny thing about this all is I am not alone, I just chose to be. And when it comes down to it I am a lonely son of a bitch. I smiled weakly and reached for my razor in the cabinet.

I hope you enjoyed this story :)

I'm not sure how much like the song it is, but I tried.

Song: The Fray-Little House


End file.
